Tuesday, August 31, 2010
usually it's the good kind of tired. the been playin' outside, runnin' around, visitin' friends, seein' family, laughin', plannin', playin' kind of tired. but there are times lately when it's been the not so good tired. the tried to do too much in a day, got too focused on the list, tried to own stuff, problems and situations that were not mine to own, let my feet slide off my firm foundation kind of tired. i'm not such a great mom. no, really, i'm not. not on my own. but when He's in control of my life, when i let Him lead me, guide me, speak for me ... i am an amazing mom. and i am not tired....well okay, the tired doesn't get to me.
we got to play on my dad's boat (yes, technically it's my parent's boat but really, it's my dad's boat if you know what i mean). and swim in the lake and jump off the boat and float around and enjoy that we have a great lake so close.
we attempted the impossible and tried to take a picture of all 6 of the grandkids together. it was hilarious and yes, we have to teach papa to stand behind the camera instead of to the side when trying to get kids to smile. pete did the rapid fire technique with the camera and (i am not exaggerating) took about 50 pictures of the kids. and you know what? we still didn't get them all smiling or looking at the camera at the same time. instead we got a ton of pictures of our kids just being our kids.
then we had to push our luck and put mana and papa in the mix too. just to see if we could get them a picture with all of their grandkids. same 50 pictures. same result. real life kids loving their grandparents and not caring about the camera.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
about listening for the hundredth time to a story that was worth telling 100 times.
Monday, August 9, 2010
eli was in heaven with all the ball things that were going on. once inside the stadium things actually slowed down as the team was practicing (we thought it would be more of a scrimmage). eventually though they went to some 7 on 7 plays and then even a few 11 on 11. eli had a great time yelling "FROW IT" and "OOOOH!" when a player missed a catch.
we were waaaaay past bedtime anyway so we decided to stay for the fireworks. well, the show ended up being right over our seats. i have never been that close to fireworks. ever. with each kiddo in a different grown-ups lap and lots of ear covering we had a good time watching them and seeing all the pretty colors and designs.
at the end of the night i asked the kids what their favorite part of the day was. the response - "getting candy". seriously?? yup. see uncle dave handed asher money for candy toward the end of the night and he immediately grabbed uncle jimmy to take him and mia to go find some. it was the highlight for the big kids that they got to get candy so late at night. in my heart i am believing that really it was the time together as a family and all the fun things we got to do and see. .... okay, and the candy!
Thursday, August 5, 2010
i'll be honest ... it's a little easier to think in the quiet. and i find my mind moving in lots of directions tonight. just flitting from one place to the next. gently landing in one spot for a brief second and then off again to another one.
mostly though i am waiting. i am completely enjoying my life. i spend every day in the moment with my kids. but in the quiet, i know something is coming. i know my answer is yes. i just don't know exactly what the question is yet. it begins with my Father softly whispering "will you...." into my heart and my heart is aching to say yes. but first He must finish His question. i don't know what the question is. i know the topic. i know the subject. i don't know the specifics. it's hard. the waiting.
then i wonder. do i have to know the whole question? can i know only part of it and begin to move? i know this is really how it works but i just feel like i have so little to move with. please don't misunderstand. i know i will not get a detailed instruction plan that will take me through the next 5 years. or the next year. or even the next month or week. i guess i just feel like i need a little more direction before i began the journey. but maybe i don't. maybe i know enough ... maybe.
no matter how much i know in my head, i know in my heart i will follow Him wherever this journey takes me. because i know He has only good things for me. i know He has plans for me. i know that i know that i know that He loves me. little me, with this little life, and all my "stuff" and He, wonderful, amazing, creative, powerful Him, loves me. how can i not follow? how can i not say yes?
what do you say? do you know how much He loves YOU? yep, you. just as you are. He's proud of you. did you know that? it makes Him smile to see you. He thinks you are amazing. how do i know? because that's who He is. because when i think about the way He loves us it fills my heart so much my eyes leak. and did you know that nothing; nothing you can do can seperate you from His love? His love is that strong.
so i'm saying yes. and i think i might be taking a step. and we'll see where that step leads. because you know, that step will lead to the next one and the next one. and maybe the one after that will actually require a turn instead of following the path i thought i was on. but if i hadn't taken the first step i wouldn't have gotten to the turn. so in the end, even if it ends up looking totally different then i thought it would in the beginning, i will end up right where He wants me. and that's the best place to be.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
see to me it's not our world (as the current title seems to imply) it's HIS world and this is just our little life. our little life that we are using to raise amazing kids to love Him. our little life that we are using to LOVE as many as we can. our little life that we want to glorify Him with. our little life that we hope leaves His footprint on your heart when you spend time with us. our little life that we have been blessed with and want to do our best with.
so, starting tomorrow we'll have a new address. you can find us at justourlittlelife.blogspot. i know this will mess some of you up. i know there may be "bugs" with this concept. i know this will mean we miss some of you for a while until you can find us again. but i also know that even, here, i want everything to be intentional and for Him ... becaue He has done so much for me.
Monday, August 2, 2010
so here's how it works. we are going about our normal day. the kids are playing and have no idea anything is about to happen. we grab our "surprise ride" song, turn the volume on the stereo way up and hit play. the kids then have 30 seconds (or 5 minutes at this point in our life) to get their shoes on and get in the van. they have no idea where we are going or what we are doing. all they know is that it's going to be fun and they have to go quick.
the ride doesn't have to be anything expensive or extravagant (though i really want to do this and while we're driving around the block tell the kids to pack their bags cuz we're going to disney the next day! or some other fabulous vacation spot would be fine too!) it's just something fun with the family. all of us together - and who ever else is in the house - friends included.
we haven't done too many yet but here's one of our latest ones. we headed off to chuck-e-cheese. oh yes, one of their favorite spots. and since saad was home he got to come too. (saad is the saudi arabian student who is currently living with us). not sure they have chuck-e-cheese in saudi arabia and though i think it was a bit overwhelming (isn't it to most of us at times?) i think he had as much fun as the kids. skee ball was his favorite. check him and pete playing ...
so anyways, that's surprise ride. it's not about going somewhere fancy or crazy or expensive. it's about being together as a family and just enjoying each other. surprise! we love you! let's get in the car and go be together and have fun!
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
running up to daddy,
following daddy or
in daddy's arms.
i miss the days when i was his world.
when i was his comfort, his safety
but i know he is learning
even at 2
what it means to be a man.
and that is something
i can not teach him.
so i am grateful and blessed
that he has a wonderful daddy
and that someday
he will be just.like.daddy!
Monday, July 26, 2010
meet keyson. honestly one of the sweetest boys i have ever known. he is soft spoken and shy with the tenderest heart. mia is always running around church and forever bringing keyson with her where ever she goes. he is always the first person she invites to her birthday every year. she always makes sure that he is taken care of and never left out because he is a little more quiet then some of the other kids. and he so very sweetly just goes along with whatever mia is up to at the time.
well, he had these beautiful flowers growing in his yard. he had to pick one and he told his mom that he needed to bring it to mia. he insisted (or so his mom told me) that the flower needed to go to mia. so that's exactly what happened. he and his mom dropped by to present mia with the flower he knew she would love. he was right. it has been sitting on a table in her room ever since. isn't he so sweet??
now he is 2. he runs ... everywhere. he jumps, he laughs, he flies through the air onto couches and chairs. he doesn't do anything quietly ... anything. his name actually means "mouthpiece of God" and pete often comments as we hear eli yelling through the house that he was named most appropriately.
he has some crazy hair. it is the most amazing soft blonde that will not stay down in the back. like the rest of him it beats to it's own drum and goes where it wants. my sweet little two year old definately has his own drum. he knows what he wants. he has a boldness about him that will serve him well when he is older. nothing frightens or intimidates him. he does not know what a challenge is. he does not know how to hold back. he is learning his independence and reminds us often that he has his own ideas about how things should go.
yet he is still a little boy who carries his blanket around by one corner letting the rest of it drag behind him. a little one with his thumb in his mouth when the activities of his busy day seem to over take him and his little body gets tired. a little one who loves to read. and though he's apt to throw the book at you it is only because throwing is his most favorite thing to do.
i have never seen a child more obsessed with balls. any kind. it does not matter. his birthday was perfect as each new box, bag and gift contained yet another ball of some kind. his little face just lit up each time. it was pure joy for him to discover so many new balls to play with. we play catch endlessly especially when i sit down to nurse his little brother (i am getting pretty good catching a ball single handedly and with my left hand let me tell you!). it melted my heart to see his smile and his excitement with each gift.
my little man with his birthday hat on!
Friday, July 23, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
i usually try to take a few pictures as we go and still try to at least fill my bucket so we have some to take home. well, this year while i was nursing ethan, mia grabbed the camera. she had a blast taking pictures (remember we talked about her love of photography here). so, 95 - yes, 95, pictures later she relinquished the camera and resumed her focus on the berries. so in honor of her new love all the pictures in this post are ones she took. including the ones below ....
aren't they silly??
isaac and the my boys got a hold of the bug spray and enjoyed "shooting" everything within range. needless to say, we had to make a little more when we got home.
grace, her favorite subject
and like her daddy she loves to take pictures of her feet.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
their sweet little faces stay with me as i love on my own little ones. who is playing with them? getting their lunch ready? singing with them? laughing with them? who is there to hold them when their scared? to kiss away the boo-boos? to tuck them in at night? who is there to pray with them? to show them God loves them? who?
i can't escape these thoughts and though i am eternally grateful for my own wonderful four children i know i am being called to more. my heart is breaking even as it overflows with the blessing He has poured out on my life. i cry for them. weep for them in my husband's arms. pray over them and cry some more as i read about the beautiful ones who have found their forever homes. the ones whose faces now glow back at me from the computer screen. who now have someone to tuck them in, to remember their birthdays, to kiss their owies, to hug them, to love them.
but what of the 147 million others that are still out there? the ones who are still cold, hungry, scared, lost, alone? what am i to do? i know i am called to more. i just don't know yet what that looks like. in my dreams i hold them, lots of them. i kiss them and laugh with them. we chase each other and my own precious four little white faces blend with a sea of other colors as they all call me mama. i am there. i will hold them. i will comfort them. i will shelter them. but i awake and i am here. blessedly climbing out of bed to tend to the amazing four children that i have. to nurse a sweet little angel of a boy, to rescue a daring almost 2 year old from his own activities, to sword fight and be saved by my 3 year old and to draw, create or cook with my 5 year old.
it is hard for me to wait. to be patient. to know that they are there and i am here. i know His timing is perfect yet it is still hard. hard not knowing exactly what to do. it seems so obvious to say "adopt" ... but that still leaves so many. is it just adoption when my heart aches for so many more? when i think of bringing a single precious child into my family and my arms, the thought only brings me mild comfort. what is the plan? what am i being called to? their faces break my heart. i want to move now but feel i need at least the first step in the plan. so that is my prayer for now. not for the whole plan, not for all the details, but God, show me the next step. move my feet toward your broken children so that i can love them here before you get to love them for all eternity.
and these are my thoughts on a thursday. what are yours?
Monday, July 12, 2010
go, rusty, go
the boys wanted to pick but i think it was mostly just to climb the ladders. they often took breaks to ride bikes or play with the balls. asher did a great job and would fill his bowl, then go run and play for awhile, then start the cycle over. of course eli, was true to himself and either had a ball in his hand or was trying to scale the ladder by himself with a grown-up quickly following him as he usually picked the tallest one.
here daddy, you eat it!
when the picking was done my friend had cupcakes all ready to be decorated and then enjoyed. she let us borrow their cherry pitter (need to get one of those. love it!) and when we got home i made a cherry crumble. lots of extra sugar to curb the tartness but it was worth it. the dessert was great.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
some of my girlfriends from college drove up to see us. we met at the beach and had a blast. we had 7 kids 5 and under and they were all amazing! it was a perfect beach day where the sun was shining, it was pleasantly warm and there was a gentle breeze. after we figured out how to put up the little beach cabana to keep ethan out of the sun we opened up the picnic lunches. we were glad to all fit under the cabana as the seagulls were very happily trying to share our lunches with us.
asher found a friend who shared a sword!!