so the waiting ended earlier this week. not what i was expecting. unfortunately, i did not pass my second glucose test and was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. as my dad put it i'm just "too sweet." (a nice way to look at it) when i initially spoke to the nurse i was still thinking it was not going to be that big of a deal. then she kept talking and talking and talking. it became a bigger deal. involving sessions with a dietician, monitoring my sugar levels and likely extra doctor visits and possibly an earlier delivery date. i know it's silly and even in the moment knew that in the grand scheme of things if i had to have a complication of pregnancy this one was minor but i still cried. not because i was scared more just because i didn't want it. i know both of us are going to be fine, i just don't want it. please don't misunderstand. i am grateful to know, grateful to be able to ensure my little one continues to grow healthy and strong, grateful that this is all that is wrong. i just needed 5 minutes to feel sad about it so i left the office, found a back hallway, cried and called my husband. and wonderful man that he is he showed up at work several hours later with my three precious angels in tow and a bouquet of tulips (my favorite flower).
i had my first appointment to get things started for being diabetic and left with a whole bag of "goodies". for those of you who are unfamiliar with gestational diabetes here's the short non-medical version. basically my pancreas is just having trouble keeping up with the demands of baby and producing enough insulin to help my body absorb sugars properly. so in my bag of goodies i got a new blood sugar monitor that i get to use 4 times a day, a list of things i should be eating and what a serving size consists of, the number for the dietician, and instructions to get a journal to write down everything i eat every day (including how much - ie 1 cup cereal and 1/2 cup milk) and at what time. i will be honest. i felt pretty overwhelmed when i walked out of the office. it seemed like a lot to keep track of with three little ones at home, a husband who is starting a new business and working almost full time.
today was day one of my new program and i have to be honest .... it's not that bad. i'm still learning and was a little late taking my latest sugar level but other then trying to think a little more before i grab a snack or fix a meal it's not too bad. besides, even if it was bad it would be worth it to ensure my little one is okay. so until this little person arrives i'll be monitoring, measuring and completely avoiding sugar. oh well.